Does life really carry on out side of visits to the fertility clinic and what else should we be remembering?

So what are the early indications that you might be pregnant – apart from the second blue line on the home pregnancy test I mean?

Apparently the morning sickness doesn’t kick in as early as one might think, tiredness is a good one but most symptoms vary from woman to woman. Both my sister and my sister-in-law said changes in your breasts are a good sign. First some gentle swelling and then the skin on the nipple darkens up pretty quickly. As it is not financially expedient to buy a pregnancy test each month I find myself regularly checking for signs of nausea and nipple darkening as I get close to my period.  So there I was in the shower checking over my breasts and yes they had swollen and they were felling tender but then I suddenly realise that what used to be an area of bumpy-ness is a lump rather larger than usual.  It’s ok I am not worried.  I mean how often do I do a proper breast exam anyway? I’ll just keep an eye on it.

When I first realised that getting pregnant wasn’t going to be as easy as falling off a log I started to see pregnant women everywhere.  Adverts and the supermarket were the worst.  Why do I always get the trolley with the ‘Clear Blue’ advert stuck on the end? It stares at me up and down every isle – “come, come and pee on me!”

But this week had an added twist - every marketer must have thought ‘lets give a plug for a cancer relief charity’.  A very notable cause and one that I have been proud to donate to in the past but is it really on telly that much in a normal week?  And as for breast cancer charities – I had four different mailings that included a letter begging for more funds for breast cancer research.  I want to help, really I do, but this week I all I wanted was to bury my head in the sand and pretend that the lump wasn’t there.  But it was.  I found my hand going to it, just to check, with increasing frequency, and every time it seemed bigger. 

What really did it for me was a ‘Sex and the city’ viewing.  In this particular episode Samantha has decided to have breast augmentation. She has decided she needs the breasts of a younger woman to keep her mans attention.  When she is at the consultation the surgeon notices an abnormal area of tissue and sends her off for screening. The episode ends with her having to tell the other girls that she has cancer. 

Why am I telling you about this American soap?  Because Samantha’s character seemed so strong – her body was her own temple and she was pleased when someone wanted to worship at it, she was daring and brave and the only values important to her seemed to be her own. She lived life by her own rules and I admired that, and now she had breast cancer and that scared me.  Thanks to Samantha, I made an appointment the next day to see the doctor, who referred me to the hospital’s breast cancer clinic.

If you find a ‘discrete’ breast lump at 30+ you should, according to government guidelines, expect to be seen by specialist within a two-week period.  Having not heard about any appointment date after 1 week I start hassling. After numerous phone calls I find out that I have been put on a waiting list and can expect to see a consultant in 10 to 12 weeks.  I’m expecting to hear from the fertility clinic that we can start the IVF treatment in 5 weeks time!  I could finish up with a double whammy here, cancer and no fertility treatment, or worse, having to decide between a termination and treatment or keeping a long wished for pregnancy.

Time for a valuable lesson – hassle.  So two weeks later I’ve just walked out of the breast clinic having heard what I now consider to be the most joyous words in the English language “it’s a cyst”.  Let’s make no mistake now, I have been very lucky, all I have been left with is a large bruise and scary memories of a doctor with a long needle, it could have been much worse.  A woman who doesn’t have a child before she is thirty has a higher risk of breast cancer than one who has.  Of course despite medical advances pregnancy and childbirth are still 2 of the most hazardous things that can befall a woman’s health but some how I can see those as ‘natural’ and breast cancer as a death sentence (however treatable it may be).

So what can I learn from this?  Examine my breasts, regularly.  All it takes is five minutes and in that time I could save my own life.

Back to the IVF rollercoaster…..